We often Teach children good things like
Speak politely.
Don’t get angry.
Use the phone less.
Don’t lie.
Respect your elders.
But there is one important thing we forget:
Children don’t just do what we tell them to do, they mostly do what they see us doing.
A child’s first teachers are their parents and guardians. From a very young age, children start observing the adults around them. They watch how Mom and Dad speak to each other, how they react when angry, how they behave with other people, how they handle problems, and what kind of habits they all have.
For example, if a parent spends the whole day on the phone but tells the child, “Put the phone down!”, what will the child learn? The words say one thing, but the actions show something else.
If parents shout in anger themselves but then tell the child, “Don’t get angry, don’t shout, the child might get confused.
Because children learn more from examples than from instructions.
If a child sees their parents speaking respectfully to a waiter, driver, employee, or an elderly person, they learn respect.
If they see their parents helping someone, they learn kindness. If parents admit their mistakes and say Sorry, the child learns responsibility and humility.
But the opposite is also true. If a child regularly witnesses shouting, insults, dishonesty, or disrespect, they may feel that these behaviors as normal.
Of course, children aren't influenced by their parents. Friends, teachers, school, social media, and the environment also play important roles in their early life. However, during childhood, parents are the most powerful role models.
That is why parenting is not just about giving instructions to children. Parenting means becoming the very example you want to see in your child.
If you want your child to read, let them see you reading. If you want them to stay healthy, practice healthy habits yourself.
If you want them to control their anger, react calm in difficult situations. And if you want them to be honest, choose honesty yourself, even in uncomfortable situations.
Children don't remember everything we say, but they observe our behavior. So, instead of asking, "Why doesn't my child listen to me?"
Ask yourself,
"What is my child learning by watching me?" Because children don't just copy our words.
They copy our habits.
They copy our reactions.
They copy our personality.
And most importantly
They copy us.